10 things I wish I had known about the Fourth Trimester
The FourthTrimester encompasses the first 3 months after giving Birth.
This is what I’d love to go back and tell my pre Mother self about the fourth trimester.
1. Hold her close.
Don’t be scared to try baby wearing and hold your baby close. Using a new-born wrap and a ring sling, these will be a game changer for you. She will cry less and you’ll be more in tune with each other faster. It will help her sleep. There’s no such thing, as “spoiling a babies” by keeping them close, don’t listen to that. Hold her as much as you want without guilt.
Your body has been through A LOT and you need to allow it time to REST now and heal. You will feel on a high, that’s the adrenalin. Eat often and drink lots of water – you will heal though good nutritious food and rest. This is of paramount importance.
- Get feeding / support
Breastfeeding is hard and might just be painful, very painful. Act swiftly and get into a hot shower if you see red streaks appearing and massage any lumps away under the warm water. It will feel weird, but do it. – get help with breastfeeding, you’re not inconveniencing anyone – keeping asking until you find kind of help you need.
Don’t obsess about the next feed, clock watch or waste your time setting alarms or use feeding apps. Humans survived millennia without them. Instead, connect with your baby - hold your baby close - and when whey start rooting or wake up from a sleep offer them boob. It’s actually pretty simple. Don’t let modern life complicate it.
You don’t need to pass your baby round the whole room. Wrap her in a sling and let her sleep! Visitors will obsess over the baby and you might feel hurt that they don’t ask how you are. You’ve just got through the most life alternating experience of your life, take it easy and they can make their own cup of tea.
Follow your instinct and do what works best for you and your baby.
Educate yourself in advance about co-sleeping - therefore if it turns out it’s something that works for you - you’ll do it confidently, consciously, mindfully and safely.
- Don’t waste your time decorating a nursery.
Your baby will sleep close to you mostly, prepare the bed in the spare room/nursery instead so you or your husband can have some space when you need it. And don’t get to hung up about creating a nursery room – you’ll never really use that cot!
Rest, rest, rest. And rest more. And don’t feel guilty and it.
- After birth pain
You might not realize but you’re going to have some major after birth pain – you’ll get major cramps as your uterus shrinks back, breastfeeding will trigger this.
- The fourth Trimester is a sacred time. Honor it.
This is a sacred time, kiss and cuddle your baby as much as you want, stay close and let your body recover slowly.
You will feel things you’ve never felt. You’ll be triggered by things you never though you would. Your emotions will be all over the place. Feel it, acknowledge it and let it pass.
- Follow your instinct
You are the expert in your baby. Dive deep and trust yourself. Listen and watch her cues, she knows what she needs. Give her what she needs. By meeting her needs, a mutual trust will form. This connection will serve you well into the future – it will be the foundation of your Mother Daughter relationship. And once you are powerful, listen to your instinct.